You're such a horrible coward. Such an idiot and a fool. What, so I finally acknowledge you do never seem to see me and you fucking wipe your existence off the earth? Screw you Enrica. Just fuck you.

You couldn't remember some lyrics I posted on my playlist that very day, and yet you remembered Jasmine's lyrics for months ago.  Because you're worth remembering, you said. I'm not jealous, I'm angry. At you, and your fucking inability to juggle friendships.

Don't fucking do that. Don't talk to me when you so obviously don't want to be there. I've been right here, at this hot, white boiling point for weeks and I didn't want to do anything because of those damn fucking expectations. Well, just because I'm not supposed to have them, doesn't mean they're not there. Does it mean I'm supposed to just smile on blithely while you fucking ignore me? Forget me? Screw me over? No.

I wrote that for you, because I honestly felt it. Sometimes I like you. Other times you hurt me so bad, and so much more than you give a damn about. Because I pine after people who don't like me. I'm not--

I don't want to be that person anymore. That person who'd cry for you, crying because your eyes passed me over and you don't care. I don't want to do it. Not anymore and not for someone like you. Caitlin looked at me, and I screwed it up. You never looked in the first place.

I don't want to be your first, your highest, your best. I wanted to be your friend, whatever that might constitute. But all of your attentions are for someone who is admittedly better than me, everything you're looking for. Well, fuck me I'm sorry. Sorry I'm not Jasmine. Not everyone can be as cute, and good, and selfless as her.

But you're not even close. I don't know what I saw in you. I saw something. But you made me forget.

+  { e x c e p t i o n s } says:
 hey do me a favor
 http://media.photobucket.com/image/anime%20guys/mAxEne_LoNesTaR88/anime%20guys/anime217.jpg?o=139
 write his life.
·´¯`·.·• (    s h o e b o x    ) ↗ says:
 jesus christ his life sucks.
 sort of.
+  { e x c e p t i o n s } says:
 xD
·´¯`·.·• (    s h o e b o x    ) ↗ says:
 it didn't always suck
 he used to have a girlfriend and parents
 and some nice friends
+  { e x c e p t i o n s } says:
 at least he has the dog.
·´¯`·.·• (    s h o e b o x    ) ↗ says:
 and then he said fuck it im out
 and ran away
 with his dog
 and he regrets it now because his dog has lung cancer
 because he spends his meager money on cigs
 and his dog eats the butts to stay alive
 and he wanders the streets and squats in old houses
 because i makes him feel dangerous and important
 knowing he's vermin coating the earth
+  { e x c e p t i o n s } says:
 OMG.
 you just made me laugh out loud.
·´¯`·.·• (    s h o e b o x    ) ↗ says:
 He spends his time honing his minor talent in graffiti
 and loitering on doorsteps.
 Why'd you laugh?

 

  

She'd barely noticed as time slipped past, as easily as forgotten lovers and in a way, it was fitting. Because in the past few months, the Hunter's had completely collapsed, neither she, nor any one of her contacts having heard a faint whisper of Adair or Daray. Erisse didn't know if it was because they'd went into hiding, or if they'd been compromised, but the lobby of the headquarters had looked deader than a grave the last time she'd been there. Of course, it was under Severon's orders, as she was accompanied by his lacky, Thierry, who wasn't as bad as she would have thought. His moods were a strange thing, as when he was in his older guise, his sense of humor was guilded with insinuations, and was often strange. And in the guise of a child, he was completely inscrutable and ambiguous. Despite being able to shift into many different forms, he never assumed anything else but those two forms. And after he'd accompanied her back to her home, he'd become something of a companion, though a little warped, and was very surely a spy. But she was careful, considering.

Considering the fact that she'd traded up one cage for another. Although a roomier cage that didn't have tendancies of drugging her. And with a master who cared more than her previous master did. But this only made him all the more dangerous. Speaking of which, "Erisse." A deep voice rumbled, bowing low, despite the fact she had no control over him whatsoever, no higher ranking, no position. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he was mocking her. And then he straightened almost abruptly, motioning a small sign, in which Thierry left the room with a sly wink to her as he closed the door, behind Severon's back. The little elf somehow knew, despite the fact that Severon's back was turned, he knew what occured. he always seemed to know.

"How was your stay, this past month?" he said quietly. From inside his cloak he pulled a single daisy, bright yellow, and laid it down on the smooth laquered wood of her table. She merely looked at him, soft contempt in her eyes she didn't bother to hide and didn't spare the flower a glance. "Cheery," she replied coldly, more frosty than she thought she could manage. "I especially enjoyed the spies dogging my steps." She'd never thought she could do this. Just months ago, this wasn't possible, this situation. It couldn't happen, not even if reality bent and broke before all recognition. 'But maybe,' she thought, 'maybe I'm stronger this time.'

Severon's sun gold eyes gave nothing away. It was strange to her that liquid light, warm and comforting could possibly be so blank, not a single ripple. "Come now, Erisse. It was for your own protection. We can't have anyone knowing that you were alive." he said quietly, sweeping closer to her bookshelf, running an inquisitive finger along the titles there. But Erisse didn't miss the way that small step took him closer to her. She raised her head at him, unimpressed. "But something's changed," he continued, glancing down at the former deity, as he advanced on her. She still refused to be intimidated. "You've supposedly been found by..." he'd let the sentence dangle, letting her draw her own conclusions.

"Let me guess, second in command Severon, great leader of the demons and elves?" she responded scathingly.

He'd smirked and shook his hand. "Luana, the archangel, representing the angel's nation. We're calling a truce."

Erisse did a double take. "What? Angels?" A suspicious look settled on her features, as she glared at him. "What are you planning?"

"That, my dear, is for me to know, and for you to find out." he responded snippily. And a knock on the door had him looking expectedly at it. He strided over and opened it, arching a brow at the boy Thierry behind it, taking the long sweeping package, on a hanger. He closed the door without another word. Walking back, he looked her up and down, removing the plastic and unveiling a dress beneath.

"You're going to wear this tonight. For your home coming." Taking the the silken fabric, she shot him a glare. He was certainly a lot saucier than she remembered him being towards her, though no less protective. The latter was probably because of business than anything else. But now, she didn't know what to make of him. Apparently, this was what Severon wanted, he did nothing to encourage her to believe he was friend or foe. And what was the most confusing was, he constantly changed his tactics, corralling her where he wanted her with a generosity that made her remember why she'd once loved him. But unraveling her even further, was that she didn't know if all his sweetness was contrived.

With a sigh, she turned her attention back to the dress. It was turquoise - what else was new - although the design was a cut less extravagant than she was used to. Probably due to the fact that she was no longer ruling this place. Reluctantly, Erisse had to admit it was still beautiful, what with the dark, dark blue ribbon beneath her bosom, gathering a skirt with little folds in them, swaying just above her knees. Many, little straps, backless, and a low neckline, showing a bold amount of ( d e c o t e l l a g e ) had her a little breathless. She mentally tested the question of how perverted he really was, while fingering the low scoop of the neck. "You have no taste." She said caustically, lying through her teeth. "This color's going to make my head look like it's on fire."

Severon smirked, and just as abruptly, turned the tables. "Good," the demon purred, and boldly pressed the dress against her figure. "You wouldn't want to look tame would you?" He stood close, listening to her forced calm breaths, despite the fact that her chest was heaving with anger. Her voice was small, slightly shaky, but no less forceful when she looked at him as if she could spit. "Get out."

Severon bit the inside of his cheek and forced a cocky grin. "As you wish, my lady." and bowed, retreating.

But as she watched him go, a thought struck her, and grabbed her and though she dearly liked to hole up in her room, rather than say another word to him, she swallowed and called out. "Wait!" Erisse bit her lip, for the first time today feeling truly uncertain, as she took small steps toward him, crossing her arms in a pseudo hug. Bowing her head and looking up at him with wary eyes, she questioned, "Will everyone be there?" a halting question, a quiet, lie of a question.

He knew. "Of course. Everyone."

Erisse nodded. "And how shall I act, as former Queen?" What should I say to him?

"Act a stranger. You've changed after all," he paused and frowned. "Stronger." You don't know him. Pretend he's never existed. Surprise him.

"And say Adair had something to do with it?" she said, half joking.

Severon smiled, shrugging. "Why not? She has a hand to blame in everything."

She nodded again, a bit like a child seeking reassurance, though the set, stubborn tilt of her head told him he wasn't wrong.

Oh why do I bother. I don't give a shit about you right now. So whatever.